Alternative music reviews

August 10, 2006

Fallopian Review (First Draft)

Filed under: reviews — @ 11:41 pm Comments (7)

This record Dammit, Eat Your Pudding, is so far from professional music it’s unbelievable. There is no attempt by these youngsters to acquire the art and craft of greats like Paul McCartney and Roger Waters. The songs are childish to the extreme with songs about boogers, rashes, and beans. Childish playground rhymes and no attempt at classic song construction such as a romantic ballad – just loud guitar and shouting. They even have the temerity to do a version of Great Balls of Fire, but end up sounding like Jerry Lee Lewis’s child bride after her first taste of alcohol.

These girls need to get a job or a husband, because they are never going to make it in the Industry. Not one of these songs could be used in a television advert to sell soft drinks or cell phones. If they are really determined then perhaps they can take music lessons and discover there are more than three chords. As for the singer, the only hope is to take the Britney Spears route, who stopped singing years ago and has her voice put through so many electronic effects that all she has to do is whisper and pout and show her cleavage.

In this day and age, music like this should not be allowed. It is a disgrace to the Music Industry that such a record has been released, I cannot even call it Product. I thought this sort of thing had been killed off when punk became just another clothing fashion in the big department stores.

Fallopian

Regarding Your Request For Closure by Crawling With Kings

Filed under: reviews — @ 11:28 pm Comments (0)

This is an album that sits back and waits for you to come to terms with it. There’s plenty of touches of sadness, even some bitterness in the songs that makes it one you have to be in the right mood for. Every time I listen it brings me some more pleasure. Jesus In Your Ovaries is small-town tale of passion. In The 90s is a more angry and a louder track in a seductive package of incisive vocals and guitar. Christmas At Home contains the refrain of “everything is pain, it’s all the same” but it is a lilting and beautiful song. Some of the tracks don’t work for me but I don’t mind skipping a couple.

This is real alt-country. I can hear very short passages that remind me of The Scud Mountain Boys and Uncle Tupelo in March 16-20, 1992 period and a lot more that is just Crawling With Kings. This is like the album I always hoped Golden Smog would make, but never did. It is also an album I know I will come back to again and again. I think I’ll grow old with this one so wait for the final review in about 2026.

Crawling With Kings