Alternative music reviews

August 10, 2006

Fallopian Review (First Draft)

Filed under: reviews — @ 11:41 pm Comments (7)

This record Dammit, Eat Your Pudding, is so far from professional music it’s unbelievable. There is no attempt by these youngsters to acquire the art and craft of greats like Paul McCartney and Roger Waters. The songs are childish to the extreme with songs about boogers, rashes, and beans. Childish playground rhymes and no attempt at classic song construction such as a romantic ballad – just loud guitar and shouting. They even have the temerity to do a version of Great Balls of Fire, but end up sounding like Jerry Lee Lewis’s child bride after her first taste of alcohol.

These girls need to get a job or a husband, because they are never going to make it in the Industry. Not one of these songs could be used in a television advert to sell soft drinks or cell phones. If they are really determined then perhaps they can take music lessons and discover there are more than three chords. As for the singer, the only hope is to take the Britney Spears route, who stopped singing years ago and has her voice put through so many electronic effects that all she has to do is whisper and pout and show her cleavage.

In this day and age, music like this should not be allowed. It is a disgrace to the Music Industry that such a record has been released, I cannot even call it Product. I thought this sort of thing had been killed off when punk became just another clothing fashion in the big department stores.



  1. I’m sorry I put this record out. At this very moment I’m combing the clubs looking for the next Charlotte Church. She has some of the best ringtones EVER!

    Comment by Kelly — August 11, 2006 @ 5:25 am

  2. First of all… who in their right mind would think that the music is intended to be professional? That the band (called “Fallopian”, no less) intended “sex with a tree” to be a romantic ballad? And that the only reason they didn’t construct the song in such a way is because of a lack of talent? Are you that dull?

    “Childish playground rhymes and no attempt at classic song construction such as a romantic ballad – just loud guitar and shouting.”


    Not all music is produced with a point of “making it” in the industry, and selling out in hopes of making a few bucks. For some people, its about having fun. Crazy I know. Isn’t the point of music to make a million dollars?! Maybe to the industry puppets you must listen to. Here’s some advice: there’s life outside of MTV.

    How can you even review music if you haven’t heard anything thats not on Top 40? Sheesh.

    Comment by ahahhaa — August 11, 2006 @ 6:02 am

  3. well this review was great.

    Comment by mikki — August 11, 2006 @ 6:13 am

  4. ahahhaa…read round the site – you’ll understand it then.

    Comment by Cool Noise — August 11, 2006 @ 8:54 am

  5. ahahhaa….that was SO good…priceless

    Comment by mikki — August 11, 2006 @ 11:31 am

  6. oh no, my dream of selling soft drinks and cell phones has been crushed. i dont know what im gonna do with my life now. ahhh i cry. ahhhh.

    Comment by sarah!!!!!! — August 12, 2006 @ 12:59 am

  7. Fallopian are god(desses) in my country!


    Comment by Brigitte — August 13, 2006 @ 3:55 am

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